By Angela Noel
February 9, 2017
“If this program succeeds, you’ll all be proud of it,” Komal Solanki told her team. The long days and constant pressures to meet the deadline took a toll on everyone involved in the huge program. Engineers, business teams, consultants, vendors, project managers, and leaders hunkered down for two years to implement an important technology project. Teamwork was critical to its success.
Laptop always in hand, Komal had to ask her team for more effort and more hours. With grace and poise, she advocated for her people while working closely with the project managers and senior leaders in charge of setting the direction and timeline. When the members of her team felt low, she reminded them of the pride they would feel when the work was done, and done well. Neither she nor her team are superhuman, but they seemed that way at times–and still do.
Cultivating a successful team requires clear vision and the ability to focus on results, no matter what the circumstances of the present moment may be. In work, as in life, the way things have always been done may not be the way things should always be. Komal, balancing tradition and innovation, knows this better than most.
Finding Her Way
Born in India at a time when most of her contemporaries followed a predictable path–do your studies, then get married–Komal wanted something different. The middle child, Komal was always talking. Curious about the world around her, she also spent hours outdoors. Her family wondered, “What will become of her?”
At first, Komal thought perhaps she’d become a fashion model–she loved clothing and design. As she matured and kept learning, another path took shape instead. At about the age of fifteen, she became a serious student. A few year later, she knew many Indian girls at her age would give up their careers. But Komal wanted to work. “It was fun for me to do a job,” she said. “I liked it.”
So, after completing her masters degree in computers from Pune University (a fact that made both her father and grandfather proud), she told her family whomever they chose as her husband had to have two key qualities. He had to have an education equal to her own. And his family had to support the idea that she continue to work after their marriage. Honoring both tradition and her own goals required that she communicate clearly, and stand firmly. Nothing less than her future happiness was at stake.
A Marriage of Equals
Komal wanted her family to choose her husband for her. When she met Anuj she immediately knew she could trust him. They got to know each other over a year-long engagment.
Komal and Anuj had no incentive to be the shiny, happy people most of us are when we begin dating a new man or woman. People they trusted had handpicked them for each other. A successful eleven year marriage, with two children, Arth and Ira, is the result.
In the years since Komal and Anuj left Pune to live and work in the US, Many things have changed. For example, young women face fewer restrictions as Western culture infiltrates more of Indian life. One thing that hasn’t changed much is the propensity for young people to seek arranged marriages. The divorce rate for Indian couples, though increasing in recent years, is still one of the lowest in the world.
In work, as in life, Komal balances between two worlds with competing priorities. She deftly negotiates ways to achieve a desired result without compromising the integrity of ideas, people, traditions, or structures. Komal represents a new wave of women in technology whose path was paved in part by the efforts of a woman named Steve.
A Dame Named Steve
Dame Stephanie Shirley opened a software engineering business in the United Kingdom in the 1960s. Women during that time were still prohibited from opening a bank account in their own names (until that country’s Sex Discrimination act of 1975).
Dame Stephanie almost exclusively hired women for her company. Among other things, her team creating the programming behind the supersonic Concord’s flight recorder. Re-naming herself “Steve” in order to be taken more seriously in business affairs, she pioneered many new work arrangements to support her female workforce. Ideas such as flexible schedules and job sharing made it possible for more smart women to participate. She also focused on a simple, “trust the staff” approach. She says, in her 2015 TED talk, “Let me share with you two secrets of success: Surround yourself with first-class people and people that you like; and choose your partner very, very carefully.”
Dame Steve acknowledged both the reality of the environment and the times in which she lived, but refused to allow it to shape her destiny. She didn’t set out to upend the social order, she simply wanted to create a company she’d like to work for. Two generations later, woman like Komal embody the tradition of Dame Steve and other pioneers. Proving again and again that technology and business are as easily a part of a woman’s world as babies and marriage.
Joy in the Effort
Komal, like Dame Steve, sees the infinite possibility in hard work. She believes in the people she surrounds herself with, and takes nothing for granted. She sets clear expectations for herself, and for others, and works to understand rather than judge. This is why, in a room filled with smart people, when the pressure to perform mounts with each passing day, Komal smiles–a towering presence in the room. She knows success is the byproduct of doing the work, finding the joy in the effort, and clearly defining what matters most.
If Komal can do it, so can I. So can you.
Be awesome in real life.
Your turn: How have you addressed traditions in your own community? What work excites you the most?
Please share:
Great article! I enjoyed the glimpse into Indian culture.
Love the comparison of two such diverse women! And yes, here’s to being awesome in real life!
Thanks, Traci! I’m in awe of women who push boundaries–always makes me want to try a little harder!
“works to understand rather than judge”
That’s the best thought I’ve read in a long time. I agree with it, and the idea that good people + a clear goal can make things happen. Interesting post and glimpse into Indian culture. Thanks for this– and for stopping by my blog.
[Susie sent me, but you probably have figured that out already.]
I love blog party days! I love the thought you pulled out, too! I know for myself it’s simply too easy to want to have my own way, rather than try and understand another’s point of view. I feel so lucky to know people like Komal and others who remind me to listen with my heart AND my ears.
So inspiring!
Thanks for reading, Dimi! 🙂
I love this idea- blogging about people that are inspiring! That’s kind of what I’m doing, too. I saw your post on Susie’s blog and knew I had to check your blog out. I’ll be back for sure!
Awesome! I’m excited to check your blog out. The more we can celebrate the good, the more good there will be! Thanks so much for stopping by.
Wow, this has given me a whole new perspective on arranged marriages. Thanks for the insights, about this and other things.
P.S. Susie sent me.
Thanks Kassandra! I’m glad you stopped by! Susie’s parties are awesome!
Thanks for the post and she seems like a great leader and someone that would be great to work under.
You need to be somewhat self-secure to get what you want as a woman. This was an interesting profile! I learn about traditions by visiting many places and being part of different cultures. My quest in life is to travel and be free. For that, I give up on the western traditions and monetary wealth. But, I have many amazing memories and experiences worth more than any money on the world. 🙂
Hi Liesbet, I love your adventurous spirit. Doing what gives us joy seems so obvious–like who wouldn’t want to do that? But one needs courage, just as you said, to own that choice. You’re awesome!
Just popped over from Susie’s blog party. Looking forward to following along here too!
Thanks for reading and subscribing Gabe! Looking forward to seeing what you’re up to, too.
Susie sent me and I am glad I went and stopped by!
Me too! Thank you!
Hey, Angela! Susie sent me over. So glad you shared a link to your interesting blog at her party. Why don’t you drop by my place? https://israelisalad.wordpress.com/
Thanks Isreal, I sure will!
A lot of what is wrong with the world today stems from people not feeling inspired. I like the fact that your blog seeks to fill that void. Both women in this post knew what they wanted and because of their intelligent approach to meeting their desired goals they were able to achieve them on their own terms. Great examples not only for woman but for men too. I discovered your blog thanks to, Susie. She left me a trail of breadcrumbs. :O)
Thank you! We can never have enough goodness and I’m glad you can feel the intent of my blog. What a thoughtful comment. Susie’s parties are awesome.