Love Letter: Let Me Get My Coat

Brenda's African Violet

A Love Letter by Brenda from You Can Always Start Now

March 9, 2018

Dear Mom,

A positive aspect about aging is perspective. I am trying to live with no regrets – something you taught me. I know you found it hard to say the words I love you. And, looking back, I realize it was both your era and personality. To put yourself out there and be hurt and disappointed is hard. As a woman now, I realize how hard your life was. 

I didn't need to hear I love you to know it was true
“This is so mom,” says Brenda about this pic of her mom on a motorcycle.
What I Love About You

What I love about you, Mom, is that you were a feminist without even realizing it. Your actions made me the woman I am today. Just do it. Take care of it. I don’t wait around for a man, or anyone really, to make a decision. If I want a room painted I do it. If I want a renovation I make the decision and do the work. If I want to travel I make the plans. I do not wait around for someone else to tell me what they want while I sit and wait. I do it. I take care of it. I am not a delicate flower waiting to be swept off my feet. You made me a woman who takes action and deals.

I didn’t have to hear the words I love you to know I was loved. You were the first person to show me actions are more important to words. If they don’t align the words mean nothing. They are just someone mouthing what we often want to hear. You never said anything you didn’t mean. You were honest and had integrity.

Let Me Get My Coat

You showed your love for me through actions. The ones I love the best were your “let me get my coat” moments. If a friend let me down, or I wanted to see a movie, or I needed a coffee and just had to get out of the house, you were game for anything. “Let me get my coat” took us to Indiana Jones, library, coffee shops and more. To have someone willing to just drop anything and go–can you imagine having a friend like that! Just let me get my coat!

Thank you mom for helping me be the woman I am today. I am now the individual who is called when people want to try or go somewhere different and need someone to say, “just let me get my coat.” I am the person people say “Oh! Bren will try that or go there. She is open to everything.” You gave me that sense of freedom to say, “let me get my coat,” to put words into actions, and just do it.

Thank you, from one woman to another, getting our coats. xo

Brenda's mom and dad
Brenda’s mom and dad. Notice the shoes in the snow.


Connect with Brenda and follow her blog at You Can Always Start Now.

A note about the featured photo: The African violet in the picture was Brenda’s mother’s. It’s thirty years old. And though Brenda’s mom died eight years ago, the transplanted leaves given to family and friends, live on. 

Your turn: In what unexpected ways have your parents or people in your life shown love?

Want to pen your own Love Letter? Here’s how you can and why you should.





Author: Angela Noel

On a quest to become a better human, I write about parenting, leadership, and personal development. I tell my stories so you can find your own.

31 thoughts on “Love Letter: Let Me Get My Coat”

  1. I love the analogy that “let me get my coat” is women getting things done and being proactive. Your mum sounds fantastic Brenda. And it is so true that love is shown more in actions than words.

  2. Brenda, you are absolutely correct – actions do speak louder than words, and your mother sounds like she was a woman full of actions, full of intent, and full of love. Wonderful love letter.

  3. Thank you ladies for your comments. Thank you Angela for giving me the opportunity to share and put myself out there. My word for 2018 is courage and you ladies are a big part of that. To all women who put their most authentic selves out there! We rock.

    1. My cousin’s daughter came to stay with me a few summers ago and I became my mother for her “let me get my coat” when she wanted to do, see, experiences things. We should all pick up that phrase and put it into action.

  4. I am working on being a good mother, like this. I did not have a present mother. She was physically there but… anyway, I hope my son will always know I’ll go get my coat if he needs me 🙂 lovely tribute!

    1. I think that’s just what Brenda’s words inspire–that sense of love can come from a lot of different ways without the words themselves. I am sorry to hear that you’re own experience wasn’t as positive with your own mom. Just from what I’ve read here–I know your son will surely feel your commitment to him.

    2. I think there is always learning taking place even in situations we might struggle with. Your son has a mom there for him that is putting into practice what she has taken away from her growing up. I think that is big. Ditto on what Angela said!

  5. Perfect for the weekend of Mothering Sunday! You are right about the generational thing of not expressing love in words but rather in deeds – my grandma was much the same and my mum, aged 72, is as well. What a great role model x

  6. What a lovely post. I love the idea of let me get my coat showing you are ready to be there for someone. Mums are the best like that!

    It is mother’s day in the UK tomorrow, and I feel bad to be so far from my mum and mother in law. Thank you for reminding me how lovely they are.

  7. This is an incredible tribute to your mother. She sounds like she was an awesome woman and you were truly blessed to be her daughter. I love when an ordinary phrase has such a deep meaning. Thanks for sharing your letter to your mother with all of us!

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